If you know me, you know I have a shoulder that always is tight and knotted up. My ankles, hips, and knees crack and at 25 I sometimes have the body of an old lady.
If you know Valerie, you know that the sounds of snap crackle and pop totally gross her out.
My shoulder was especially hurting part way through our trip, so when our tour guide said our hotel in Ayutthaya offered a 2 hour Thai massage for 700 Baht (around $20 USD) I jumped at the opportunity. After I signed up we went up to our room and waited for our luggage and my appointment time.
Usually we just brought in our own bags, but this hotel had a grand set of stairs and no elevator until the 2nd floor lobby. The hotel bellboys decided instead to load everyone's bags up on the service elevator and bring it all up to our floor. Of course all of our stuff came up on different carts so we waited piece by piece.
Val's backpack was the first thing to show up so she went to grab it off the cart. She came back in the room and told me that the bellboys were laughing at her. I asked if maybe they were talking about something else, but she was clear they were looking at her and laughing. We laughed ourselves and shrugged.
A few minutes later we identified our bags and the guys brought them in... still laughing. Before they left, one looked at the other and then turned to Valerie and said, "Supermodel!". Yes. This happened. Of all the English words to know, that was one of them.
We noticed the rest of the people weren't tipping these guys that brought up 40 people's bags. We made sure to grab a couple bucks and hand it to them. After we did, the same guy actually ran back into our room and said, "You are so beautiful! Hehehehehe" and then ran out and shut the door behind him.
Please understand that I'm not exaggerating when I say that all 5 or 6 of them were in the hallway giggling... not laughing, but giggling. We fell on the beds in laughter and tears. Valerie was officially Ayutthaya's Next Top Model.
About 2 minutes later, my massage therapist arrived at our room. Val grabbed her book and headed down to the pool.
This woman was the tiniest person with string bean arms, a big smile, and a bag of water bottles. Now, if you've ever had a massage in the US you know it usually goes
something like this "Hi, welcome to the spa. I'm going to go ahead and
leave for a few minutes so you can have a chance to get changed. Get
under the covers and then I'll come back in and begin".
That did not happen. She came in and told me to get changed. "Right here?" I asked. Yes. She meant right there while she stood there. She went and got a towel from the bathroom (a tiny awkward hotel towel might I add) and threw it over me while I lay on the bed. Americans think of nudity in a very funny way. This woman's job is to work on the human body and get it back into alignment. That's it. Might as well let her do her job.
She got up on the bed and used every part of her body to stretch and work out my knots. Feet were in my back, my arms were being pulled up off the bed as she stood on it and her elbows and knees were used almost more than her hands. I was pretty sure this tiny woman was going to break me. This massage was quickly turning into two hours with the Hulk. About an hour in, she suddenly left. I looked up after a couple minutes thinking she was just having a drink of water or something, and then I hear the toilet flush. We had a bathroom break half way through my massage. She did wash her hands since the brand new soap was open!
After it was over I felt light headed and a little dazed. I noticed my mascara had smeared all over the bed sheet and that my hair was bigger than Amy Winehouse. She showed up 10 minutes early so I didn't get a chance to take off my makeup or do anything else to prep. I felt awful because my feet were SO dirty from walking around in sandals all day and I didn't get a chance to wash them. Poor woman. She deserved the big tip I gave her.
All while this was going on, Valerie was trying to read her book down by the pool. I say "trying" because the pool area was crazy crowded. She saw a figure in one position out of the corner of her eye. They were obviously in a uniform so she assumed they were mopping the floor or working on something. Val looked up and it was one of her fans from upstairs. He realized she was looking at him, and darted away immediately. Hilarious.
Meanwhile... let me tell you, this was one of the best massages I've ever had. I felt so sore for the rest of the night, but after a good sleep I felt so much better in the morning. This tiny little hulk lady knew what she was doing.
I'll never understand why people travel and then expect everything to be catered to them the way that things are done at home. Why waste the money? Life is about experiences and traveling is definitely about experiences. As bizarre as this night was, I'm so glad it happened. Val gained some adoring fans and I lost some tension.
Thanks, Ayutthaya. Hope to see you again soon.
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